Soo Min

Thank you both for your replies. I do appreciate it. I guess I'm not sure who to go to...I'm in the States. The school was a more traditional style WTF Tae Kwon Do school. Seven years ago, my mother went to the owner of the school and was very upset by their discussion because he refused to do anything. Like I said, I'm pretty sure several adults knew that *something* was going on and no one did anything. I'm not sure, however, that they knew the severity of the situation with this one teacher. I'm confident I'm not his only "victim" either. So, I don't know who to go to. Of the sub-organization (within WTF) that I remember this school was part of, the owner of the school was the president of the region. Do I go to the cops? Child Protective Services? Try to reach out to other adults from that situation? Talk to the owner, *again*? Start to threaten a lawsuit for negligence, lol...?

Many years ago I was on this forum, asking for advice about leaving an abusive MA studio. I was young at the time. I'm an adult now. About 7 years have passed since I left. I was at a particular studio for 9 years. For the last three of those years, a new teacher began working with us. He caused me a lot of grief in a lot of different ways. I won't go into it. It was bad enough that it still affects me to this day. I've recently got back into contact with a few people from that era of my life. I told them about this one particular teacher. He had a tendency to pick on me especially--especially since I was one of the few females in the class--and I'm not going to say that this "picking on" never had inappropriate over tones. Anyway these adults claimed that had no idea that this was happening, although I'm not convinced... Anyway, now that I'm older and looking back, I see how much more disturbing, inappropriate, and unacceptable this particular teacher's behavior was. In fact, it was downright traumatizing. I'm in therapy over it, and I've never really been able to get back into martial arts since... I recently checked, and he is still teaching children. I'm not sure what to do. Should I do anything? Should I let by-gones be by-gones?

About two months ago I mysteriously left a school I had trained at for about nine years...My instructors didn't even really know I was "leaving," they thought I was merely taking a break. I left for many, many reasons including but not limited to: being called swearwords by a teacher, having sexist remarks made to me by said teacher and other students, bullying from multiple people, inappropriate comments about having an affair with another student (I was thirteen at the time ), being yelled at for hours at a time, physical abuse (Putting students in headlocks when their back is turned off class times and forcing confessions out of them?!), and other mildly cult-y things. Yeah so you get the point about the severity of the situation. Anyway, I left and am at another school and am loving it but I am very frightened that I will run into these people again. I won't tell old friends from my school where I've gone, and I'm even a little bit scared to be posting this right now. I am frightened to talk about my school, and I try desparately to avoid the sections of town it's located in. I have nightmares about this place! Anyway, a couple people are encouraging me to create a self-defense program for younger children that I can take to camps and schools as a community service project (I am also good at writing and performing). But I am very scared to advertise in case these people call my house in reponse to it or something. (They have this weird thing about demostrations and stuff without permission, and even though I don't go there, I still feel...Frightened to do it.) Yeah, I don't really know what my point is, but does anyone have an advice on how I can relax?

To each his own. I dance, and I know sometimes people think that the modern styles of dance are much cooler, much more flashy...In reality, the traditional ballet and pointe also take a very long time to master and are very physically demanding--maybe even more so--even though they are not always flashy or exciting. I guess it's the same idea...? So I guess I know why traditionalists are annoyed.

There must be a better way to learn than this... That was... Not what martial arts is about.

I was about 6 or 7. I am now 15. Sometimes I think it is better to start a little later in life so that one learns to proper technique right away. In my experience, those who start young have to un-learn improper technique. I know I did. Not because of the quality of instruction, but rather because developmentally a third grader cannot really see or feel minute technical differences.

I just left a terrible instructor. I was under him for several years, and he totally messed up my head. He treated me very unfairly, called me names, acted very unprofessionally, and always had a lot of criticism but rarely support. He was also extremely controlling and demanding. He put a lot of pressure on me to compete, and I didn't like that. I stopped wanting to compete because of him, but he forced him into competition anyway. Because my parents didn't really know what was going on, they always took my instructor's side. He favored some other students who were very arrogant and sometimes said cruel things to me. Once in a while I lost my temper and said something back. Though he never punished the other students or asked them to apologize to me, I was always humiliated in front of them. He would also explode on me for stupid reasons. Once my brother said something erroneous, but I was punished along with my brother, which is comletely unfair. Another time I was punished for being too arrogant. The next day I did not take charge of a class when he was out of the room (long story) because there was another student with a higher rank than mine and I was terrified of being haughty. Instead of the higher rank finding himself in trouble, I was yelled at! It just got worse and worse... He eventually expelled me, again, for no good solid reason, but I said "Good riddance!"

It all depends on what your definition of black belt is. If you believe that a black belt means you can beat most people in the street, many people I know (men, women, children) should not be a black belt. At my school, which focuses less on self-defense and more on technique and kicking, a black belt just means you have mastered a certain amount of material and display certain traits (discipline, courage, patience etc). As an underage black belt, however, I did receive less respect at my school purely because of my age. In some things others took seniority just because they were older, and I wasn't eligible for certain promotions. Because this was sort of the way things always were and the way things are out in the real world, I didn't think much of it.

As a female, I don't pay much attention to the "don't hit a girl" rule. The only thing about it iI like s that it makes guys aware that females often aren't as aggressive as they are. My brother likes to randomly punch his friends on the arm. Even though I like to spar and do martial arts, I find that is extremely annoying to have to block him every three seconds. He doesn't get that I, as a girl, don't find it fun to hit each other on the arm. Now, in the real world or martial arts, what difference does it make if someone is male or female? If you find yourself in a bad situation, you probably should avoid fighting as much as possible, or try to end it in a "humane" way (trying not to cause real damage). I believe you should think that of either girl or guy. Guys seem to have real problems hitting a girl in fights or whatever but most females I've met (and this is just a generalization) either don't care, or will laugh at the stupid males. So don't feel bad about it, because if a female is attacking you, I'm sure she's not expecting you to be kind to her because she's female.

I did something very stupid. I've learned some basics of internal arts from my instructor. I know what ki is. I can sense my ki and focus my ki. I can sense others' ki. Anyway, I was seaching through this forum and discovered the concept of "ki balls." I don't think I'm supposed to know what a ki ball is at this point. Well, then I tired to form one. Sort of as a goof, I sat down, meditated, and tried to form one. I was able to make one almost instantly. I didn't think I'd actually be able to do it. Point being that I don't know what I'm doing, and ever since I've played around with these ki balls, my hands have become extremely sensitive to energy while I've had trouble sensing ki in other areas of my body. Did I somehow unbalance myself? Anyway, my teacher still doesn't know I did this, and I don't want him to be angry with me for trying. But can I get myself hurt doing this? Did I already?

Zen philosophy is mildly integrated into our classes but never under the name "Zen." However, there is a select core of students who study seperatly and privately under the instructor in the internal arts areas. It helps doing it this way. Those who want no part in this or would be scared away by aspects of ki training simply don't have to be involved. Those who do, get it when they're ready. But sometimes I hate my friends not knowing what I'm learning.

Seperating strictly the religion of buddhism out of martial arts? Buddhism as a religion is just a religion. It has a set of customs, beliefs, and rituals. These can be eliminated from martial arts practices. For practical reasons, however, I don't think much of the spirituality should be seperated from martial arts. Spirituality (meaning the virtues, the philosophy, ki movement) can greatly enhance one's performance. But then again, it really comes down to how much of your martial art you consider to be a lifestyle and how much is just a sport.

I know someone who started well under ten. I'm currently fourteen and practicing. I started at twelve.

From an early age I had (and still have) no concept of fear of death. It just...doesn't bother me. It's difficult to explain. I suppose it's because I heavily believe in some type of afterlife.

In class before, we've done drills to develop this "zone" and know exactly what it feels like when someone is breaching it. Even during point sparring it can be useful because why waste your time blocking a technique well outside your little bubble or "zone"?

Here's a stupid diddy: Minds are like parashoots-the only work when they are opened.

my school is affiliated with the WTF but mostly just so that we're registered with them if we want to go to a WTF tournament....i think at least.

well enough. he understood english better than he could speak it, and my teahcer translated what he didn't know into korean for him. but you're right, it could have been the case.

I've been training in chung do kwan for eight years now. Personally I find the style effective for my body type. I am completely satisfied with Chung Do Kwan and don't believe I'll switch fo rmany years to come. UpTheIrons, I agree with you.

it doesn't particularly matter to me, although one boy who recently arrived to the states from korea switched to a different school cuz our instructor is a westerner and his parents apparently wanted him to have a korean teacher.

I am an extreme perfectionist...Which always served me really well...I was improving drastically but in my mind's eye, all I saw was failure. I'm literally a martial arts anexoric. I can win first place or pass a test with flying colors or land a flying kick perfectly and still feel like I didn't do as well as I could have. But then one day my attitude totally backfired and I went pyscho with the stress of it. I couldn't take it and started being scared to try new things-performing in front of people, for example, or doing a new technique in front of a class-because I was so afraid I would fail. So my teacher and a lot of my friends I trained me worked with me really hard. The idea is to get me to start looking at everything as a learning experience. Okay, so if you forget a few forms, shrug your shoulders, grit your teeth, and say, "I'll remember them next time." Recently I screwed up a demonstration (well...at least according to me) and when I explained later that I wasn't focused, my teacher just said, "Okay, make sure you're focused next time." Oh well. You learn through mistakes, right? I always learn a technique or where to hit with one better when I'm the one getting hit with it. I remember the pain so I always remember that technique really well. Maybe it's the same idea? Anyway, being hard is good, but getting yourself down over "failures" is bad. Relax and you perform better...Much better.

personally most of the female martial artists i know-although they are few-are extremely committed-more so than most men. i myself used to be sort of weird about certain types of sparring and such but quickly got over it. and i mean quickly. i've seen three different female students hit that "wall." one simply did not want to bother getting over it. she won't go far. the second, less talented than the first, pushed herself over slowly and steadily with help from her teacher. it was extremely long and brutal but she got over. the third reached the wall and simply stepped right over. i think the same can be said for guys. some simply don't, some struggle but manage, and some barely even notice it. i don't think it has much to do with being a guy or girl. the reason we see few female instructors...think of it this way: hypothetically speaking, out of twenty men maybe one is physically and mentally capable of making it to the level of training required of a teacher. out of fifty, maybe one has the dedication. out of twenty women, maybe one is physically and mentally capable and out of fifty one has the dedication. but men in martial arts are much more prominent and so that fifty is easier to come by. so its just the ratio of men to women kicking in.

typically: "...shut up already...sir..." or occasionally "yes, i KNOW you'll never tell me my basic kicks are all right...I SWEAR I'LL KICK LOWER AND MY TOES WILL BE DOWN ON MY SIDE KICKS AND I PROMISE I WILL HOLD THEM FOR THREE SECONDS EACH JUST STOP YELLING!!!!" or when he's really mad at me (has happened several...okay many times): "...well, let's see...he's already yelled at me for thirty six minutes...can't be that much longer, can it...CAN IT...do you think he's serious about getting suspended? nah...oh, am I supposed to respond now?...Please don't hurt me..." this is really off topic but he used to ask me these questions about stuff i didn't want him to know about so i wouldn't say...i would be thinking, "NOT TELLING!" and then he would use physical pain to get the answer out of me and since then i've been really frightened when he gets mad at me...

that whole post was hilarious. lol and the one about tae kwon do is true...I'm an experienced ballet dancer and it's helped me sooooooooo much in tae kwon do. There's another person in my school who dancers as well and he excells with the kicks for the same reason.

i'm not entirely sure what i believe about ki (chi) and am waiting until later in my training to make any evaluation... i'm a cathlic christain and have never had any problem with believing in both ki and christianity...it's crossed my mind several times that perhaps ki and God are essentially the same thing? why not? going more into the spiritual realm-has anyone read the "Power of Intention"? it details a net of energy that can be tapped into and is always working for the good of the universe. Deepak Chopra also talks about God in conjunction with a network of energies he calls "soul" always working for good. can your soul be ki? and if so, can God be your soul? then can God be ki? or is ki a neutral enegry source? in which case ki COULD be soul because it's inside of everything and you sort of affect it...right? ki is often referred to along with "aura" etc so it can't be too much of a stretch... as to the holy spirit and ki...if ki is neutral i don't think that's possible since the holy spirit works for the GOOD of the universe. so if ki is neutral and ki can be tapped into and used any which way and since the holy spirit is often said to "transform" and make holy etc that wouldn't quite work... but i could be entirely wrong. who knows.