USCMAAI

I have been teaching for 25 years and have taught all three of my children, as well the sons and daughters of family and friends. I understand how difficult this can be (seperating being a parent from being and instructor). My advice is not to try! You are always the childs mother and you are always the childs instructor (either in martial arts or life in general). The key to doing this is not to have greater or lesser expectations of your child's abilities or behavior than you do with anyone elses. If you show your child that he is expected to behave just as anyone else in the Dojo does, and recieves the same rewards/punishments for meeting or not meeting those expectations, then he will come around (push ups were perfect). As far as his giving his complete attention and trying to do techniques as best as he can, what would you do with any other student that you felt was not giving 100%? As I said above I have instructed all three of my children (my son recieved his shodan just last may, and my oldest daughter will be testing for shodan next month), and all three have learned that while I am always "daddy (or dad as my son calls me)", when we are doing Karate I am Sensei. It is not only a disrespect for you your child is showing by having a caviler attitude toward your instruction, but a disrespect for your style, dojo and the other instructors. I agree that you should not have to "get him angry" to have him perform well, he should perform well because that is what is demanded by your system. I would suggest treating him just like any other student. If that fails, remove him from class on the days you are to instruct. That will teach him that there are consequences for poor attitude and that mom is not a push over. It also shows that other students that you will accept nothing less than their best efforts.

Trust me Tori, that was probably the only way I would have learned anything. Arrogance is a trait that ran strong in my mental make up, and sometimes the painful lessons are the most improtant ones. I have been knocked out more times than you can shake a stick at. So far know damage.....Well, maybe some damage, but hey my father says I was brain damaged from an early age....lol

Yes, I think that you make a good point here. If you can get things to change without resorting to physical violence, then all the better.I agree with this, but again would add that be very careful. Some people react differently to being intimidated. I know people who, if they think they are afraid of you, will shoot you instead of fighting. Some people will bring an "equalizer" into play if they are intimidated. Be very careful, and be aware of your environment. I would maintain that sometimes people get to caught up in trying to appear tough or "hard" and lose focus on what they should be paying attention to. How many time have you seen someone who was trying to look or act tough get sucker punched?

Nine: I would respectfully disagree with this. I have never been intimidated by the size of an opponent. Maybe it is because I am too stupid to be scared, but I would rather think that my personaliy doesnt lend to being intimidated very well. I would think that the "1000 yard stare" is more intimdating than size. A person (regardless of age,size or sex) who looks as though they are looking trough you can be unnerving. My students accuse me of this all the time during sparring. We call it "total commitment" in our system and infact is what Zanchin (our schools name) means. it varies from person to person. on my job, I have ended confrontations before they started merely because of my size. I have even had guys tell me they would whoop me if I wasn't so big. size is a very powerful intimidator. I would have to agree with this as well. There is a reason why night clubs and bars hire great big people to be bouncers and doormen. I know that size doesn't matter to eveyone, but to the general, non-MA practicing public, it can be a factor. You guys may be right, but in my experience if someone is wanting trouble your size could be just as much of a factor in getting things rolling. I have actually had a guy who I had to "deal with" tell me that fighting someone my size was a "win" no matter what. I asked why and he said "because I am smaller than you... If I win cool, if I lose it was no big deal, cause you are supposed to lose to guys bigger than you". I know this is a sick way of thinking but some guys suffer from "little man syndrom" and look for those "David vs. Goliath" match ups. Also, if you rely on size to be intimidating instead of general demenor...what happens when you run into someone your size or bigger? I work in a prison, and am surrounded by guys who work out with weights all day, and already have a high disdain for following the norms of society. The last altercation I had was with an inmate who was 6'8" tall and weighed about 320lbs. His nickname was "Big foot", and he is doing time for murder. He certainly wasnt intimadated by me (he is now). After our "disagreement" (after spending some time at the institutions hospital (2 weeks) and 3 months in seg. He is very respectful of me. I understand that some people equate size to fighting ability, but watch out for that little guy who has something to prove, or the other little guy who knows that he can beat a big man (Hes probably done it before and can do it again).

Just met another one of these guys this weekend. Champion at sport karate (can't see through the window at his dojo for all the 6ft trophies in the way). He invited myself and several of my students to his seminar of "street survival". He was teaching tournament techniques, and gave no thought to ground fighting or weapons defense. One of my black belts asked him what would happen if was taken down, and his reply was " I don't get taken down. If you are good, and practice evasions you don't worry about it". Now my black belt started to argue with this guy about self-defense, but I stopped him. We (as a group) left the seminar. My students were angry that we had spent money (only $50.00each) for this "crap", but I told them that it was a good investment; as it showed them the value of what they have been learning. I continue to be amazed at how some people just dont get it. I certainly hope that no one at the seminar took what this guy was teaching to heart. It could very well get someone killed!

Hitting to the throat is effective, and you are right that you really should know the S.D. laws of your state/country. However, even if you only hit someone once, you could still be liable (legally and financially) for killing him. Self-defense is a lot harder to claim than people think. Last year I wrote a post on this topic (Use of Force). You might want to read it, before you get into an altercation.

One of the advantages of working with people of various styles is that not every system practices their techniques the same. Try building training partnerships with people who are boxers, wrestlers, Judo stylist, Kung fu practioners, etc. These stylist probably train much differently than you and can give you something new to deal with each time you sparr. You can also have members of your own school use "wild" or "flailing" attacks. You are correct it is very different dealing with a "john wayne" type of punch (looping roundhouse or hooking punch" than dealing with a karate type punch, but some arts have these type of attacks in their aresanal as well. Kung fu style tend to be more cirrcular in motion and have several arching hand techniques. Try working with some of those for more variety in your training

Great way to teach a "young tiger" that he wasnt much more than a "kitten". LMOL

Agreed! Acting was terrible. Action was Awesome, but both ladies were hot! I would crawl 1000 miles over broken glass just to have either one of them knock my lights out! LOL. "Cynthia would you marry me!"

One of the most enlightening and humbling experiences I have had in the martial arts came at the hands,feet and hips of a woman. When I was a young black belt, I had competed and won a tourney in Atlanta, GA. Many of the competitors in the sparring were TKD practitioners. I beat most of them without even getting scored on, and of course this went to my head at 16! On the flight back home, I mentioned to my Sensei that I didnt understand why anyone would think that TKD was any good for self defense "heck they can't even spar, how could they win a real fight with that stuff!" My Sensei just smiled and said " You are the man Keith, I certainly would feel sorry for any TKD stylist who tried you on the street!" Now if I was as smart as I thought I was, I would have heard the sarcasim in that statement, but I wasn't. Well, we arrived in St.Louis Mo and Sensei said before we go home, we should stop at one of my friends for some training. I being young, stupid and full of energy was all for some "training". We arrived at Master Kim's Dojang (TKD school of course) and I just looked at Sensei and said "you got to be kidding". He just smiled and said "TKD is everywhere it is a popular sport". Then he laughed to himself. I laughed as well thinking it would be fun to beat up some more of these "weak fighters". We went inside and Master Kim and Master Kemp greeted each other warmly (should have been my second warning sign). Master Kemp informed Master Kim that I had just competed in a tourney and really needed some street sparring. He asked if someone was here that could give me a good fight. Master Kim suggested that his daughter (susan) would be willing to "street spar" with me. I wasnt impressed with her when I saw her, she was maybe 5'1" tall and maybe 115 lbs. I looked at both master and said "Are you sure?" They both smiled and said "yes" at the same time. I went and changed, and came out to the sparring area (wood floor no padding). We sqaured off and Master Kemp said remember to watch her kicking! I said " I know". The match started, she lifted her left leg (as if preparing to kick), shuffeled in and hit me with a left jab/right cross combo, then stepped in and executed a hip toss (ogoshi). While I was on the ground she delivered a right palm heel to the side of my head (lights out!). When I woke up, both Masters were still laughing! Master Kim said to my Sensei "You were right, he is as tough as you said he was, not many people recover from getting knocked out as fast as he did. I think that our Tae Kwon Do training must be improved, obviously we would have a hard time with him on the street. We might only have 10 mins to escape before he wakes up and gives us the beating we so richly deserve". Needless to say I was not amused. To this day I not only know the difference between "sport" TKD and "Combat" TKD, I also have a very healthy respect for any opponent I am faced with. Susan still visits my school on occasion and seems to get real pleasure from telling this story to my students (especially the young ladies)!

That's really cool! Nobody better come looking for trouble at one of your family reunions! I guess I should add my wife to the list I made earlier, too. After all, I met her at class! LoL! Family reunions are intresting. Yes they usually turn into a sparring match! When I was a kid, my dad put up a boxing ring in our back yard, and we had matts for throwin practice in the garage. My Sensei is one of my dad's best friends, and is so close to the family my kids call him "Grandpa" too. It has been a unique experience having this much martial experience in the family (with varying styles). I have had the benifit of learning so much from so many people in the 35+ years I have been training. And yes IMHO there is nothing sexier than a woman who can kick your you know what ( I still have the hots for Kathy Long and Cynthia Rothrock!)

I come from a family much like yours. My father was big into Judo (3rd dan)and boxed in that Marines My mom held a 2nd dan in Shong Ji Ryu Kempo of my four older brothers: one has a 6th dan in American Kenpo one has a 3rd dan in Hapkido/TKD one is a golden glove boxer and all american wrestler and the last teaches Wing Chun Gung Fu I have two sisters as well both hold black belts in Hapkido/TKD I have a son (black belt in Zanchin Karate), and two daughters (both brown belts in Zanching Karate)

I agree 100%. I have two daughters who train in a combat system (full contact sparring, and we go about 90% on self-defense techniques) I also have two sisters who have been training in various marital arts for over 30 years. All of them would be insulted if treated "gently" by anyone (including me). I also have seen women use theReal men don't hit women excuse to initiate attacks on men. Now generally I agree that you should not beat on anyone weaker than you, but I would not hesitate to defend myself from an attack no matter what the sex of the attacker is. As I said above both my daughters and sisters train very hard, and if you were to hesitate against one of them....My sensei use to say it like this [/u]

Your posting makes good sense, USCMAAI, and if you can locate those blocking techniques, I'd definitely be interested. Thanks! Here is my rather long winded post. enjoy! Successful self-defense is often dependent upon your ability to defend against an initial assault. If you can avoid the initial attack, your chances of surviving the encounter increase by 30%. If you successfully defend against the initial assault (1st and 2nd attacks), the chance of your surviving the attack increases by 60%. Blocking and evading techniques are essential parts of this defense. Now before I start my discussion on this subject, let me say that most of what I talk about comes from my American Kenpo and Special Operations Combat Karate backgrounds. If you want greater detail about blocks and evasions, read Grandmaster Edmund Parker's Infinite Insights into Kenpo. Both Grandmasters Parker and Kemp had a complete understanding of motion, and the principles involved in all aspects of the martial arts. They were/are especially knowledgeable about the dual use of blocks and evasions. First I think that it would be appropriate to define what I mean when I say the words block and evasion. Blocks are primarily defensive moves that employ physical contact to catch, check, deflect, re-direct, stop, or destroy an offensive move. Evasions use footwork and body maneuvers to avoid or dodge an offensive move. Obviously by my definition blocks includes checks, and parries. I will go into greater detail when discussing various methods of blocking and evading attacks. Blocks Blocking techniques are not always simple to categorize, but most of them fit into one of these four categories: Striking, Parrying, Driving, and Specialized. I will discuss each category and their sub-categories. Striking Blocks: are any block that is used to meet the force of an attack with force, with the intent of not only stopping the attacking action, but also causing damage or destroying the attacking weapon. Sub-categories of this type of block are hammering blocks, thrusting blocks, chopping blocks, attacking blocks, and intercepting blocks. Hammering blocks are a particular form of striking block. The angle and direction of the block resembles the action of a hammer striking a nail. These blocks are done with a closed hand (hammer fist). Thrusting blocks are blocks that go directly to the attacking weapon, without preparatory motions (such as chambering). These blocks rely on “point of origin” for their speed and effectiveness. Thrusting blocks can take the form of closed hand and open hand blocks, as well as forearm blocks. Chopping blocks are blocks that use the open bladed part of the hand as its striking surface. Attacking blocks are offensive techniques that are used as a defense (beating someone to the punch), either against an attacking weapon or to interrupt an opponent’s offensive move. Intercepting blocks are blocks that disrupt, interrupt, or intercept an attack. Disruption occurs before the attack is launched, interruption happens during the launch of an attack, and interception occurs after the attack is launched and on it’s way to target. Parrying Blocks: are blocks that re-direct, ride, and go with the force of your opponent's action. Because these block usually do not meet force with force, they generally do not cause damage to the attacking weapon, however, they usually cause a disruption in balance. Examples of this type of block are the basic parries and intercepting blocks. Intercepting blocks that re-direct, ride, and go with the force of an attack. This is accomplished by the inward, outward and diagonal re-direction of the attacking force. Although these blocks are in the same family of the intercepting blocks of the above set, they generally do not cause physical damage, but cause a disruption of balance. Sweeping block re-direct force by using slapping or sweeping motions. Again these blocks are generally non-impact (i.e. don’t cause damage). They do have the ability to cause balance disruption. Driving Blocks: are blocks that are used to disrupt an opponent's balance. This is accomplished by going against the force of the attack, and driving the attacker back. The results of driving blocks range from "forced settling" to "forced buoyancy". A pin or fall may occur from either of these actions. This driving action usually comes from a block that has been "chambered". This preparatory motion helps you to generate more power, and allows for body momentum to be coordinated with your blocking action, thus creating a stronger block. It should be noted that many of the striking blocks can be used as driving blocks. Specialized Blocks: These are blocks that have distinct characteristics that make them advanced. This may be a result of the combination of several principles taken from the above categories. I will discuss the sub-categories of this section, as each is distinct. Checks are the use of pressing, pinning, or hugging actions to restrain, hinder prevent an opponent's action. This is usually done by controlling a limb at its joint, thus minimizing leverage and nullifying the weapon's action. Jamming blocks are techniques that crowd or force an attacking weapon back and against the attacker's body, preventing action. Lockout is a type of positioned check that is used to slightly detain or hinder the action of your opponent. It involves striking a target with a natural weapon and having that weapon remain on the target fro a time before retrieving it. Positioned blocks are accomplished by using various defensive postures to automatically check, or hinder incoming action. Pinning blocks are restraining “vice-like” moves that hinder an opponent from taking action. Ricocheting blocks are defensive moves that use the first block to launch a second block. This concept in Special Operations Combat Karate is termed a Ricocheting block strike- because there is generally an offensive technique built into the defensive action (i.e. blocking sets I & II). Trapping blocks are techniques that catch and then hold attacking limbs, preventing their use or escape. Grabbing blocks are specialized intercepting /trapping blocks that use grabs to neutralize attacking weapons. Pulling blocks are specialized trapping blocks that catches and pulls a target’s weapon. Thus forcing your opponent into a stationary position (forced settling), and preventing further attack. (Jerking blocks are also included in this sub-set). Dual/combination blocks are blocks that employ the Double Factor. This consists of dual moves that incorporate any combination of blocks, parries, or checks. It also refers to moves that are both defensive and offensive. Evasions The use of evasions in combat is something that is covered in every system (at least all the systems I have been exposed to). The use of stances, stance changes, footwork and body maneuvers to avoid and or re-direct an attack is the essence of evasion. There are several types of evasions, each dealing with a specific directional movement. Taking into consideration that 360 degrees of motion is possible from a neutral defensive posture (a neutral defensive posture is one in which your weight is evenly dispersed, and your feet are shoulder width apart or less), evasions occur in the following ways: Linear, Circular, and Angular. With all three of these categories of evasions four sub-sets exist, inside, outside, forward, backward. I will attempt to describe each of these categories and sub-sets. Inside linear evasions allow you to avoid attacks, while sidestepping to the inside of your target. This in turn sets the stage for a strong counter attack. Inside-forward linear evasions allow for you to avoid the attacking action, while staying or moving into the “kill zone” (this is the area of a target, in which most of your opponents vital areas are within reach), and applying immediate forward pressure. Inside-backward linear evasions allow you to avoid attacks, while staying in the "kill zone" and creating separation between the attacker and yourself. This in turn gives you space to recover from an unexpected attack, or to employ ranged techniques (kicks, weapons, etc). The disadvantage to inside linear evasions is that moving inside on an opponent means that he can attack you with weapons from both sides oh his body. Those experienced with infighting, and grappling often are most comfortable with this sort of evasion. Outside linear evasions are designed to avoid attacks, while moving outside of the attackers "kill zone". This momentarily neutralizes one side of the attacker's body (the arm and leg opposite of the side you evade to), forcing your opponent to either act with limited weapons/defenses, or to turn so that his all his limbs can be used. While moving to the outside of the attacker limits your access to "vital" targets, it increases your access to the "hinged" target areas (i.e. joints), and makes it more difficult for all your opponents weapons to be brought to bear. Outside forward linear evasions are much like Inside forward linear evasions. They are designed to put immediate forward pressure on a target, while moving to the outside of his attack. This in turn creates a disruption in the attacker's rhythm. It can (and should) also cause balance displacement. Outside backward linear evasions are used to create distance, while moving to the outside of the attacker's "kill zone". This allows you to execute ranged techniques from the relative safety of the outside of the attacker's weapons. Inside Circular evasions are evasions that take you into the kill zone, but not by a direct route as linear and angular evasions. Circular evasions generally are more complex and involve the use blocks and/or parries. These evasions usually take longer to develop and are considered more risky! One of the major differences between linear and circular evasions is the distance from the attacker you end up. Inside forward circular evasions are evasions that are used to close distance with an attacker, while avoiding the attack. As with the aforementioned evasion of this set, parries or blocks usually accompany this movement, either disrupting balance or causing "stunning" damage. Inside backward circular evasions are used to create distance, and usually take you further away from the attack than backward linear movements. Again, parries and blocks make these evasions most effective! Outside Circular evasions are evasions that move you to the outside of the kill zone. These evasions are often used to maneuver into the ambush position on a target. The proper use of this evasion along with strong blocks and parries can manipulate the attacker's body along with your movement to accomplish this (ambush position). Touch reference uses these evasions along with angular evasions to accomplish these goals. Outside forward circular evasions are evasions that avoid contact and then close with the attacker. In most situations this is not practical as it requires too much time to complete, but if you are dealing with an attacker who is off balance or has a cumbersome weapon, it may be useful. Outside backward circular evasions are used to disengage from an attack, while moving outside of the "kill zone". Angular evasions are a combination of linear and circular evasions. Grandmaster Kemp always referred to these evasions as "slicing the pie". This is due to the angular motion of the evasions cutting to the inside or outside of the "kill zone". The use of diagonal lines of motion helps the defender find and enter "zones of relative sanctuary" and "zones of relative attack". Many people know of zones of sanctuary and attack, but I use relative because I want to stress that evasion alone rarely make you safe or make your opponent vulnerable. Inside forward angular evasions "slice the pie" to the front inside of the attack, Often going across the attacker's body. When accompanied by blocking techniques, several results can occur which range from balance disruption to causing damage to the attacker. Inside backward angular evasions are used to create space and the "slicing of the pie" takes you just out of range of the attacker's weapons, and if done correctly will force him to have to turn slightly to put you back into his "kill zone". Outside forward angular evasion is "Slicing the pie" to the outside of the attacker's "kill zone", while bringing your momentum forward. An example of this is touch reference's "open ambush". In open ambush you start facing your attacker, but as he punches/kicks, you use parries, angular and circular evasion (foot work) to avoid attack, and move around behind the attacker into the ambush position. This process is one of the most effective lessons that is taught in SOCK. Outside backward angular evasion is creating distance while going to the outside of the attack. This results in creating more distance than side stepping (linear), but allowing you to stay close enough to attack as opposed to looping (circular). In conclusion: blocks and evasions must be a coordinated effort. If you don’t move when attacked, chances are very good that you will get hit. Conversely, if you just try to dodge an attack without some type of block, you most likely will just be delaying getting hit as well. Those of you who don't mind "trading blows" remember that anyone can be knocked out! Also rule #3 of self-defense: "Always assume that your attacker has a weapon.” Now how do you feel about trading blows with a guy with a knife in his hand? You should make an effort to teach your student that evasion and blocking should go hand in hand. Remember that stances are part of your footwork, and therefore are part of blocks and evasions.

Congratulations on being promoted to Shodan! In my system "Sensei" means instructor. This title is not "earned" until you reach Sandan (3rd black). Assistant instructors are refered to by their rank or as Senpai (senior student). I am not saying that you don't deserve the respect of an instructor, and it seems that you are dedicated to your school/style; but it seems to me that even at Shodan, you may not have the full understanding of your systems techniques. Again I am not saying that you are not a good martial artist or a fine teacher, but it sounds to me that your instructor is putting too much into your basket too soon. As for me I have been teaching my system for 25+ years and have been training for almost 36, and there are still days when I look around for my "Sensei" when one of my students call me Sensei.