Tojiro

Its good to lose.You can learn from experience. If you win,good.Reflect back on how you could have done even better. Try not to be so hard on yourself,its only the first you been to.

isnt there some japanese guy they call ''the gracie killer''?

I remember when I use to take tkd,I was in the same position.People fooled around and joined the dojo for just an exercise. If I sparred 100 times there,80 of them were kids under the age of 10. Ironically unlike your story,I left the dojo in search of something more...practical(not saying tkd isnt practical,just my old dojos way of training).

Im more of a 60(hands) and 40(feet). I usually use low kicks to set up a distraction so then I can use my hands. I practice high kicks but would never use them in a fight.Had a bad experience with it when I sparred with a judo friend of mine,been scared to lift it above my waist ever since

If there was ''the top deadlist'' arts,then why would there be hundreds or thousands of martial arts being practiced in the world? You need to realize that martial arts is just like highschool.The teacher can teach you a lesson,but it doesnt mean everyone will get a A+ on the next quiz.