BigGuy

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by hillbillies??? Because otherwise it would be called a TEETHbrush!!!

You are correct niel0092 I boe to the greatness of the spork.

As weapons I would also use the chopsticks. I mean those pointy ends on a fork and sharp edges on a knife just seem to get in the way when I want to kill someone at dinner.

A man walks into a bar, and a dog starts barking. The bartender points a shotgun at the man and asks," Are you a computer geek"? The man says "Noway I'm a truckdriver" "well my dog thinks you smell like a computer geek." THe driver replies that he's hauling a load of computers and the smell may be on him. The bartender says" you better be glad because its open season on geeks since the dot com crashes. You can shoot 'em on sight." The driver leaves and as he is driving down the road a geek with glasses, pocket protector,and suspenders runs out in front of him. The driver swerves to miss him and overturns his trailer sending computers everywhere. Soon geeks are everywhere grabbing up the computers so the driver pulls out his gun and starts shooting. About that time a state trooper pulls up and makes him stop. "what are you doing " asks the trooper "shooting geeks " says the driver "you cant do that" replies the trooper "But I thought it was open season for comp.geeks" The driver say To which the trooper replies" Why sure it is....But You can't Bait'em"

Sorry monkeygirl that joke probably should have gone in another thread.

No good deed goes unpunished Nature is a mother Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate The other line always moves faster A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over A bird in hand is safer than one overhead Celibacy is not hereditary Never play leapfrog with a unicorn If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what is going on In case of doubt, make it sound convincing Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference

Darn I've have got to get the prescription checked on these glasses I thought this thread was something else entirley. Maybe they should legalize cannibis as a cure for Cannibalism. Wait it gives you the munchies so nevermind.

I don't believe that cannibals should be legalized. It seems very disgusting and barbaric to me. I can't believe this is still going on in todays time. What is the world coming to when people want to legalize cannibals.

Just my oppinion but, I think there is a big difference between racisim and racial profiling. It shouldn't be called racial profiling in the first place. A better name would be suspect profiling. The terrorists on 9/11 were all of middle east decent, therefore dosen't it make sense to keep an eye on people of middle east decent. If a black guy robbed a bank would it make sense to also look out for white guys and mexicans just so you are not guilty of "racial profiling". No you look for the people who are suspects. If all of the terrorists were overwieght white guys with brown hair and a mustache then I would expect to be checked out. On the other hand if a police officer is pulling over a black,mexican,arab, or even a white guy , just because he dosen't like that particular skin color that is racisim and that is what needs to stop. If your going to dislike someone dislike the product not the package. Do you pick you favorite candy bar by the color of package it comes in. I don't and thats all skin is, a package. It's whos inside that counts they could be the sweetest person on earth or who knows they could turn out to be nuts. Take the time to find out. Later BigGuy

Here are some more numbers for you. Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000. Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500. Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188 Number of physicians in the US: 700,000. Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year: 120,000. Accidental deaths per physician: 0.171 Statistically, medical doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. "FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but almost everyone has at least one Medical Doctor." Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban medical doctors before this gets out of hand. As a Public Health Measure, I have withheld the statistics on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to seek medical aid. Also I think Mechanical Pencils should be ok if you take a training course and have a permit.

Drop them both and stick your face right in the plate. I do use chop sticks ....but only for soup!!!

A Dog limps into a bar. The bartender says" what'll be" And the dog replies " I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"

A man and a woman are messing around when they hear someone pull in the driveway . "It's my husband" the woman says. "Hide quick" The man grabs his clothes and jumps in the closet. He hears a small voice say " It sure is dark in here" The guy looks over to see the womans son in the closet with him. " The guy tells the boy to be quiet to which the boy responds " But its dark in here and I'm ascared of the dark" The guy says" look I'll give you 50 bucks just be quiet" The boy takes the money and dosen't say another word. Later the husband leaves and the man is able to get away. The next Sunday the little boy goes to church. His mother tells him he has to go to confession. As the boy steps in and shuts the door he says "It sure is dark in here" to which the priest in the next booth replies" Oh No, Your not going to start this again are you?'

I think the worst I've ever seen was Van Damms first movie, No Retreat NO Surender. Had some kid who kept seeing the ghost of Bruce Lee or some crap like that . Only good thing was that Van Damm Got his butt kicked by aa teenager at the end. Great White Nija Rocked!!!!!!

When my daughter started MA she couldn't wait to tell everyone I had to explain to her why this wasn't a good Idea. People wanting her to prove it could easily end up in a real fight. She hates keeping it a secret but she understands why. So I told her she could tell when she's a little more advanced ..that way at least she could kick their butt if they did actualy start somthing.