I have been a white belt for two months. I am enjoying Goju-Ryu very much! There is a lot to absorb, I try my best. The philosophy I entered Goju-Ryu with was that I would be an eternal student of something I appreciate and can dedicate myself toward as a person who is seeking out a personal journey. I want to be a part of a family, and that is what the dojo feels like. And that is the exact word my Sensei used when he said 'you're family now.' Sensei says that I will advance as far as I choose, that my growth is entirely on my own shoulders. I took both comfort and a sense of responsibility from those words. My 'but' here is that I do feel that there will be pressure to advance and be competent, won't there? Not a lot is expected of me as a white belt, but I am an anxious person in general, overly stressed, and I worry my head off that I will disappoint my Sensei. I look up to him more than any other person in my life. Front kicking (Mae Geri) from Zenkutsu Dachi and landing back into stance is what I can't seem to nail. My body rises or moves along with my legs rather than staying still. I have a lot of balance issues. Am I too perfectionistic? Is it okay to do poorly on some of the grading requirements? I am looking for some support. My Sensei is extremely supportive and attentive to any questions or concerns, but I have so much self doubt that I seem to need to ask you all here. I have typed a lot, so thank you for reading this far. The jist of my post is: is it okay to be a poorly coordinated white belt, as long as I am giving it my best? Is it really okay?
