Martialart

I don't know. You're probably right. Between now and a couple years from now, my mind will probably change 16 times.

Thank you. I couldn't have said it better myself.

That might makes right. Something all bullies already know. Bullying a bully makes the bully worse--maybe not to you, but later on to someone else.

Agreed. Especially in adult years and in the workplace. These are the people who press and press always hoping you'll lash out at them so they can say, "I don't know what happened; he (or she) just flew off the handle at me, and all I was trying to do was show her how to do this or that." For instance, I know a woman at work who is a bully. She's also the most gregarious and social person on the unit. Everyone loves her. And yet, she talks about everyone who loves her behind their back. She plots and schemes, and she can be hugging someone and smiling with them one minute, and as soon as they leave the room turn to another and say, "Don't ever trust that person. They do this and this, and they've done it with everyone in the hosptial, and they...on and on." Yet she was just hugging them and smiling at them and pretending to be their best friend. And you can't talk bad about her because she's been there so long and is friends with all the managers. To say anything would mean it getting back to her, and her in turn trying to ruin you in the eyes of the supervisors and coworkers. I have been fortunate to see all this ahead of time and sidestep her for the most part. I also happen to be good at my job, get along well with others, and I have no problem working on nights with an old nurse who no one else wants to work with (I think she's fine once you take the time to get to know her.). So, I'm in like cement. But I can't help thinking it would be really good to see the downfall of this most evil type of workplace bully. But, truth be known, she's moved to another shift, the people she's attacked the most have moved on or away, and so it's not really my affair anymore--it never actually was. But I am fortunate to have seen it so I can understand it. Is there such a thing as mental martial arts?

I'm glad to hear the stories of those who have overcome bullying, and from those stories and others, and from my own experiences, I know the only way to stop a bully is to stand up for yourself, no matter what that means. Bullies always look for someone weaker. My experience has been that bullies want to dominate and humiliate; they don't want to stand toe-to-toe and fight every time they try to pick on someone. That's not the fun of bullying. In fact, fights are not the same thing as bullying or being bullied. If you challenge someone to a fight who's making fun of you and a fight ensues--that's not bullying. Bullying is always one person trying to dominate and humiliate another. They've tried to stop it, but there's no way to stop it. It's too complex of a dynamic. There is something within some of us (myself included) that just wants to beat the heck out of a sissy. There's something wild in our nature that when we see something weak, we have to chase it and take it down--like a lion after a baby zebra--especially if that zebra is standing out. But that only explains the physical violence--it doesn't explain the bullies need to dominate and humiliate. Most likely, the serial bully has a personality disorder (usually a narcisstic personality disorder). That's why they have to be stood up to. But a person can be a target of bullies by creating the bullies that surround them out of people who normally wouldn't bully people. Few targets can be helped. It's hard to get a kid to admit they're being bullied, so discovering those who need help is hard enough. It's hard to define bullying, because a kid whose getting in a lot of fights is not necessarily being bullied. And then, too, the chronic target may be the kid who actually identifies and seems satisfied being a victim of bullies in that they will do nothing to change the situation. These types often become the followers of bullies. And then some kids are so off that there's nothing that can be done--such as the kid who insists on being openly gay in high school, or the kid who may actually be a very bad person themselves and though it seems like bullying, it's really just Divine justice playing out. I knew a kid who was bullied in school who later turned out to be a child rapist--even while he knew he had AIDS. In that case, had this individual been killed by bullies, we would see it as a tragedy, but it really wouldn't have been. To actually come across a "Daniel-son" (The kid in Karate Kid who was an otherwise good guy, normal guy, but being treated unfairly and getting beat up all the time by bullies who just didn't like his face) is very rare. And, if you watch that movie, Daniel wasn't really bullied. He pretty much instigated every instance in which he was beat up, he was never humiliated or dominated, he was just on the losing end of fights. He stood up for himself, he just needed to learn how to win. That's the problem with bullying. It's like a mirage. You go to get a hold of it, and its not there, but then it is there, and then it's gone again. Or you find yourself on one hand hating bullies and on the other being a bully. I'm sorry, but in Karate Kid III, daniel is getting dumpy in the butt, he's being dominated by a girl who uses him, he whines and stresses out constantly, and you get to the point where you want to see him get beat up by the bullies. It's hard to know what to do.

That's how I feel. Of course I didn't say that to my owner/master (excuse me: the owner/master).

In some situations, I'm sure that would work. In many situations with bullies, though, avoiding them is impossible, and that's the problem.

Yeah, I don't think I would start my own style. I think I would stick with traditional Taekwondo. And I've been lots of colors of belts. white, yellow, green, blue, red, back to white and now green again. I know enough to know the wheel is not worth re-inventing.

I know this is a very sensitive subject for most people, especially if they have become bigger through martial arts. It may be something they want to forget.

Though the shock of this revelation has nearly caused me to cough my coffee through my nose, I have to say I agree for once with Toptomcat. As one who is not naturally flexible--but works very hard to become flexible--I have to watch my level of pain closely. I'm tough enough to take a lot of pain in training, but that doesn't mean it's the best thing for me. In fact it can be a problem. Sensei 8 is probably trying to toughen our spirits with this inspirational post. But those who are already tough should ignore it, because it can cripple you in a hurry. But in my school, there's a lot of people who hope for the easiest instructor, the lightest sparring match, the fewest pushups, etc. Those are the ones who need to heed the advice of the OP.

Did you ever bully anyone?

Since we're all anonymous here, I was wondering if anyone could share a story about being bullied, and how, if at all you dealt with it (even if unsuccessfully). If you teach martial arts, have you ever specifically helped someone who was targeted by bullies? What advice (anyone) would you give to someone who is being bullied? Thanks to anyone brave enough to talk about it. I know it can dig up some really painful feelings.

Why do they want that info? It sounds like you're trying to get a security clearance in the military!

Yes, that makes good sense. That's what we'll do when and if the day ever comes. Thanks.

If I did that, I'd start a school now. Bruce Lee had nothing. He wasn't a black belt in anything. He took Wing Chung for a bit, but never really advanced in it. He was an actor primarily. People don't get this, or don't want to. But what Lee had was an original idea about martial arts that came from a rather small exposure to it. In other words, exactly what a movie actor would need. I'm not criticizing JKD. I know nothing about it, except that it was created by a very inexperienced and young martial artist who was first and foremost an actor whose moves are speeded up on the film to look faster than they are. Those are the facts. JKD may be great for this very reason. As for me. I have a long history with Karate and Taekwondo, but because of the military, I moved around too much to get a black belt, but now it looks like we'll be able to. I have an original psychological approach to training that has worked wonders for me--I think it could work for others, too. I probably wouldn't start a new style, but would instead teach Taekwondo and affiliate with some Taekwondo organization (though it wouldn't be the International Taekwondo Alliance). So, in truth, I probably bring more to the table than Bruce Lee did, though chances are, I will never be as successful as he was. But who knows? Right time, right place.

I hear you. It's just that if you're a seventh dan senior grand master, and you spar with one of your 1st dans and they basically prevail or evenly match you, then it's going to cause a deflation of the meaning of "senior grand master," and that's not going to look good to your class. It's going to pull the curtain back on the Oz, if you will. Whereas, if black belts were just black belts with more or less seniority, then no implied promise is made by terms like, "Senior Chief Grand Master Sensei." Or, if it's fully understood that the advanced dan ranks come with time and service to the organization alone, then no problem. I intend to stop at 1st dan, because in my opinion, to go above that in the organization I belong to is simply a mugs game.

Well, let me ask you this. If a person learns TKD. And then they decide to go and teach it on there own, is there some limitation on whether or not you can teach ITF forms or WTF forms? I know that TKD is a fairly generic term, like karate. Can a person teach WTF forms and not be part of the WTF?

Well said.

Another update on sparring. Sparred tonight as well, and now I'm starting to learn these matches don't have to be won, do going all out and nearly passing out from exhaustion is not helping me learn combos, counters, etc. Slowing down, staying loose and letting the other guy attack every now and again has definitely improved my stamina. I'm surprised none of the multiple dans couldn't advise me on that and I had to figure it out myself, but there you go. What I was told tonight is how hand to head techniques are not favored because it's to easy to score with them. It's allowed but there shouldn't be any contact. I didn't say anything, of course, but come on! I don't need to make contact, but calling it too easy to score is nonsense if the other person has learned to keep their guard up properly. This is one of my cheif complaints about taekwondo in general is that they emphasize kicking almost too much. Remember American Kickboxing. Now that was cool sparring. But hey, they say hand to body is a.o.k., and you can make contact. Well, when I was doing head shots, I was stopping just before contact (and I'm still going to do that because it is allowed). If I'm going to punch to the body--it's going to count. Oh forget it. I'll go easy. Whatever. It's just getting nailed every now and again is a great teacher, and you don't have to get all cocky or agressive about it. Friends can spar that way, or at least I can.

Well, you and I share one thing in common. We are Nirvana fans, and I love that song, too. My continued interest in Rock ended in 1994 when Cobain killed himself. I was 30, he was 27, and that was the end of keeping up with modern rock for me. He was a genius. No doubt about it. OMG! This is my hundreth post. I'm an orange belt now! Yeeehaw!

I don't know, I suppose I'm just toying with the idea really. And at any rate it's a long way off. For all I know, by the time we are black belts, we might be good friends with a lot of people at the school and not want to part ways. Setting up a dojang is expensive and paying the rent on commercial space is expensive. Insurance is expensive, and it could just as easily turn into a daycare center if one isn't careful. White belts come and go. There have been three start since we started, and we haven't seen them recently. For all I know, the nickle and diming and contracts and multiple gradings per colored belt, patches, doboks, pads, etc., may be the only way a dojang can stay afloat these days. And what am I going to do when 90% of my students can't live up to my expecations? Kick them out? Fail them at their gradings? Not allow them to grade? And let's not forget the economy and the rising number of out of work people. Martial arts isn't cheap. I'm working toward my black belt. That's all I know right now. There is no telling how we will feel about it when we get there.

I'm curious, brokenswordx, you list a lot of styles that you do in martial arts. How can you be good at all of them? I mean, I train three days a week in Taekwondo; I wouldn't have the time to train in three other styles as well. And I'm not trying to be argumentative; I see it a lot in here, and I'm just wondering how a person accomplishes that. Do you actually train in all of those different martial arts? My point is, if one person can do it, another can. If you can train in all those styles, why can't I be good at kata, weapons, and sparring?

Why do you feel bad for me? I'm getting what I want. The curriculum is fine. I can train as hard as I want. I've said that the instructors are good at what they do. I'm getting a taekwondo education. That's what I'm paying for, that's what I'm getting. I don't need it to be a cult. I don't need to feel undying loyalty to the owner/masters I write a check to every month. I need to learn taekwondo and work out, and if down the road I want to open a school and do things the way I think they should be done, then I'm going to need a black belt from an established school in order to feel confident in doing that. Besides, there is nothing else here. There are three other schools, and they are all part of the ITA TKD Puls franchise. But again, I have no complaints about what I'm being taught. It's just that it's a McDojo that nickle and dimes you to death.

How do you expect someone to start a new style without advanced training in their old one? Einstein's work on relativity did not come to him from the aether (pun intended). He based his work on the ideas of FitzGerald and Lorenz, who were writing about Michelson and Morley, who were researching ideas proposed by other physicists. Those physicists were working in a Newtonian paradigm, which would not have existed without the works of Galileo and Kepler - who never would have penned his laws without Brahe and Copernicus. Indeed, there is no difficulty in tracing a line from Hawking all the way back to Plato. These men shaped history, and they did so not by discarding "old" methods entirely, but by improving them. Choi, Lee, Parker . . . They did not pull their respective styles out of the air; they added their experiences in other disciplines to arts in which they were already quite advanced. Like science, "new" martial arts are not created in a vacuum. They are created by people who have intimate mastery of the "old" methods, and therefore know where and how to modify them to take them farther. Well, now, I looked up Bruce Lee. He started in Wing Chung Kung Fu, but never completed it. He had no black belt at all and was not at all experienced in fencing or boxing but only read about them and adopted their techniques into his Jeet Kune Do. I think Choi was a second dan in Shotokan Karate. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not saying that I should, could, or would be successful. I'm just trying to explore the why and why not's of it. And here's another thing I wonder: are forms copyrighten? I know some are, but what about the basic Taekwondo forms. If one opens a Taekwondo school is there anything prohibiting them from teaching Chong-Ji, Do-San, etc?

Yeah, but they are advanced in the basics of the art they are training in. If I were to start a new style of karate or taekwondo, there would be no point in doing advanced training in the old style. I would need to perfect whatever style I was teaching. Theoretically speaking, of course.